Tuesday

Part 2.


Dear Maniac Stepper Lady,
You might remember me writing to you in a prior post
Apparently I didn't make my self clear.
Yes, you made it to class LATE again today.
The reason why I get to class early is to claim my spot, now if you want to dry hump the mirror.
:: GET THERE EARLY::
(so I can stand as far away as possible from you)
and claim your spot, don't stroll in 15 minutes late and assume everyone wants to stop their rhythm and move so you can have some room.
thank GAWD
I was already as far up in the front of the room as possible, so you couldn't steal a spot in front of me and totally distract me the ENTIRE time with your physcotic stepping moves.
whew
although you are still distracting, I was able to focus most of the time!
Like SERIOUSLY are you trying to prove some point that she you pop, lunge, and kick higher
than everyone else?
YOU WIN YOU FREAKING WIN!

Serves him right....

While not THIS funny, a lady today totally freaking fell flat on her ass during step. Yeah you KNOW everyone in laughing in their head, well I was. Am I cruel. Id be laughing at myself too, hello...Karma's a bitch and ill probably take a massive fall Thursday!

The guy in the video number one didn't know what the hell he was in for when he went to a step class... and number two he had way too many risers for a beginner.

Serves him right! I literally LOL'ed.

Well I cam close to having to dance today. Our instrutctor did the butterfly move... haha

Saturday

Calorie Burning Tracking widget

Um according to my freaking awesome new Calorie Burning Tracking watch
among other things it does, I've burned

...wait for it...

3370 calories today
Not sure how many I typically do but I was just happy to see more than my
2207
that this site
says my body/weight/age need to maintain my current weight.
Go me.
PS. That 3355 is WITHOUT going to the gym.
Perhaps the 12 hours out and about to day with three kids in tow solo!
Whew.
Super mom is taking off her cape and going to BED.


Friday

B/A Pics

So im pretty sure ther is NO difference. WTF?
All my hard work really and nothing. Ak.
Better luck next moth sistah!
I guess that means I better step it the f up. Right.
P90 X here I come. Oh and if your wondering what the heck is up with my belly button.
2 mistakes as a teenager (belly button rings on top AND bottom)
AND
3 kids & 130 lbs of pregnancy
(which combined that sucked any chance of a flat stomach and unsaggy belly button)
=
a SAGGY stretched to its max belly button!!!!

Aerobics of Uncoordinated

A picture says a thousands words. Am I right?
Well this was a picture perfect example of me this morning.I'm not sure what the hell was going on the morning with me but apparently I left my coordination in bed this morning.

I looked like the typical first timers to a step class so confused and had the worried look of fear in my face.
I felt like an IDIOT.
I know these steps, I do them all the time.
What was going on??
Ugh

PS. Today was one of those days that I never made it out of gym clothes. I'm still in them here at 945 at night. Dont judge me
Gross.
Its been one of THOSE days.
double ugh

Wednesday

Healthy Food Choices.

Now that I don't eat fast food for about 5 months now, and sure as heck don't let my kids, and yes in the past I had given my kids not the healthiest choices of food, however. For the most part we are a healthy family.

Our eating habits have changed.

How do these work out a holic moms (like myself, teehee) bring their kids to the gym nursery with McDonald's in hand for them for their dinner....Really?

How about you get skinny and you set your kids up for failure. Hows that teaching them anything. They are going to end up on freaking the Maury show cause their kid is 250 lbs .... at age 5.


What I loved seeing was this one mom in specific a while back while I worked in the gym nursery brought her two kids with a large bag of Cheetos's beef jerky and some red drink, almost every time she went to work out, NICE! True story. Your kidding me... Sick ...

"Light Stretching Mix"

So I didn't "run" like I said I was going to.
I opted for weight class instead. Ive been to her class before and she typically works with elderly, or the "older folks" so I was prepared, however this is "Muscle Mix" it should be renamed a "Light Stretching Mix". Not even incorporating the bar!

I usually avoid her classes cause it it so slooooooooooow. And her music selection, ummm we don't go there.

Seriously, sitting on a bench with 5 lb weights on my feet lifting my toes? I might as well do finger stretching exercises!!! I'm here to be beach bod ready not stretch my toes lady!

Regardless, its better than nothing, however I do up my free weights today
so I was excited about that

Moral of the story: Avoid the classes that at taught by the same person who teaches
old folks and finger stretching.

My 1.5 hour Routine.





Tuesday

Ironic

Is it ironic that I sit here and watch Biggest Loser while eating a bowl of ice cream. I bet the contestants would really enjoy that huh? Well, since they cant I will.
Have a ubber fabulous night people.

PS. I'm doing sprints in the morning, yes RUNNING, and maybe some free weights for the muffin top. Wish me luck.

Dear Lady behind me in step today.

Would you please calm down because your making me feel a tad uncomfortable. Often I missed my steps because I was so concentrated on how over dramatic your ever move was. Now don't get me wrong I love someone who is into their work out, but you my dear were OUT OF CONTROL.
XOXO,
Danielle

So today I didn't get to class early enough {tear} and low and behold I was stuck in front of the crazy maniac stepper. You know the one who is so over dramatic with every pop, lunge, 180, and step she can do. It was so bad it made me feel uncomfortable, thank goodness she left the class early I was able regain my attention to the steps and not that physco behind me.

Rotation

Now I don't have an abundance of gym clothes... so I tend to rotate my gym "outfits".
You think anyone has caught on to my rotation?? LOL Hope not, they might making fun of me in
in their blog!!!!

Monday

the dreaded tread mill

Tell me I'm not the only person who wonders when the person behind you is going to leave so you can get off the dang machine already. Talk about PRESSURE.
I feel like if they are on the machines before me, and I get off the machine before they do then ill look like a big loser. Seriously.

So I got on the tread mill today motivated by my friend who said shes "jogging for 30 minutes as day". I woke up late this morning and so I hit the gym in the evening. I hate working out in the evening, the only good thing about going is that my kids get completely worn out from playing in the kid zone there. I on the other hand feel like death is calling me.

So back to my story. I got on the dreaded tread mill, and I HATE, LOATHE, CANT run for longer than the 100 yards I did in high school track team as a sprinter.
But, I tried anyway 6.5 ....6.6....6.7 ...6.8 ...okay I can do this. It isn't so bad, then I felt like I was having a heart attack, panting like I just ran a marathon, and its quite apparent that my body hates me. This body was not meant to run, but then I still have the guy behind me, I CANT stop or ill be a big loser, so I keep running.......and running.....then I slow down for a lap, then I start running again, the guy would NOT leave.

Thank gawd my weight class started shortly after, who knows when that guy would have left! Whew!

Or maybe I should be over this I hate to run attitude. Hmm.. Decisions...
I think ill make mondays my running day, just to get over it. Ill keep you posted on that one, and how long THAT last!

Another Gym NONO

I'm not the fashion police at the gym by all means.
Today my friend told me my pants were too big (Ohhhh compliment, score..anyway)
But, when you show up to class is black VELOUR pants hanging off of your bum, and a pink hoodie with drawstring PINK stripped sweater, you have got to think WTF was she thinking?
Mind you, this IS Texas and we are already hitting the 80 degrees. Velour pants+Texas heat---Really? I don't get it.
Do people not plan coming to the gym, surely they do?

Friday

Jeans+Gym= WTF?

Now I can understand people not being super organized and planning out their day, really I can, as a mother of three there isn't much planning.

However when this lady comes to the Step Class in JEANS (high waisted, cropped and rolled of coarse cause they "make you look thinner" right?) first thing in the morning, I wonder in my head WTF is she thinking, and then I have yet again another thing to post about on my blog.

So thank you to the very smart woman in jeans at 815 in the morning for coming to Step in your blue jeans.

PS. So I was just thinking after I posted this, maybe they were her skinny goal jeans and she was so thrilled to get in them that she wore them to show off her accomplishment??
Eh? Probably not.

GUITLY

Or plead the Fifth?

Ill admit it... I weigh myself butt naked, after I pee first thing in the morning, while sucking in thinking that its going to make a difference, and blaming that few extra lbs to PMS bloating. Don't hate---PARTICIPATE...

Motivation

I think everyone needs an ::accountability partner:: at the gym. To encourage and motivate our lazy butts to get there on those days you JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING. I feel like a slug on those days not started out at the gym, seriously. My performance as a Domestic Goddess seriously lags.

My ::accountability partner:: was MIA with family in town this past week.

I learned the hard by skipping the gym three days this week. I haven't skipped more than a day in the last month, and went 3 days without.
{ Not by choice. You know I had to put being a mommy first and the only appt available for the sweet child was at 910, 5 minutes prior to my class. Ugh, I even tried to reschedule.}
Yes, I am THAT dedicated.

Lets just say my body H-A-T-E-D me royally, thighs and arms especially.

Now I don't need an accountability partner. My thighs did plenty of reminding me how much I need to not skip the gym.

I used to be..

The kind of gym person who always went straight to the back of the class, mostly cause I had no earthly idea what I was doing, and thought everyone was going to laugh at me as I attempted to do a lunge correctly. I mean you know those woman who "have their own spot" in class and everyone KNOWS they always are there, well I think I have mine, at least I always stand in the same place and ill be damned if I'm not there earlier enough to get it too!

So I'm officially one of those crazy bitches who has her own spot in the front, right in front of the mirror. I used to think those people were really into themselves but truthfully it just helps you focus and see that your doing your work out correctly.

Dear Kickboxing instructor.

{old post}
I was seriously getting annoyed with you. I walked out of the class after about 15 minutes
of just starring at you like an alien.
Sincerely,
The lame chick who left your class this morning pissed off.

And its true. In my very LAME attempt at kickboxing this morning, very I looked like a lame cast member of Jersey Shore doing the fist pump the hole time for my punches, while jumping back and forth. Eventually· after realizing I am NOT coordinated enough to do this crap, and 15 minutes of trying to figure out what crazy move she was gonna pull out of her hat next,
I walked out disgusted.

At that time I remembered why I don't try too many new things when it comes to the gym.
And people want me to try Zumba?
HA! They must be out of their mind!

Disclaimer:
There will be no hip swaying, booty shaking, pelvis thrusting, dropping it like its hot,
or pumping at all.

Unless there are massive amounts of alcohol and people I will never see again.
The end.
I don't do anything that involves coordination.
It doesn't work. Period

Work Out= Coffee Break?

Now I get that the gym provides an area for people to sit and mingle with each other.
What I don't get is those three specific ladies, you know who you are, that are there sitting and drinking coffee as I enter the gym, drop off my son, walk by again, do my class and then are there AGAIN when I get done with class.

I do realize this is a YMCA and its about communities getting to know each other, family base but DO SOMETHING while your there people.

I sure as heck am not going to pay X amount of money a month to drink free generic coffee.

I promise it IS possible to mingle and work out all at the same time!

Rule of Boobs.

Now I know many of us aren't blessed with wonderfully plump great boobies, and they sag after children or you just are FLAT, or they are just ginormous. I get it TRUST me, I went from an A to a DD with my kids and back down to what looked like two wet socks staples to my chest.
{KID YOU NOT!}
You know that song:
"YOU CAN TIE THEM IN A KNOT YOU CAN TIE THEM IN A BOW"
Yeah, that was my theme song.
(Thankfully the doctor was about to "fix" mine)
But getting to the point, what I do know is that
YOU NEED A BRA,
at all times at the gym, please just wear one.
Seeing your nipples near your belly button, not cool.
Its not attractive, just distracting, PERIOD.
Whats even more distracting than saggy boobs (trust me I've been there so I get it) is having the 50+ woman behind you in gym class whose breast look better than yours at 25 years old.

A what?

Keeping in mind that I have had three kids in less than 5 years I want you to know moms that I KNOW you know what I'm talking about. Those who have had three kids vaginally, seems it happens more often than those ceseareans!



My youngest is not even 9 months yet so things aren't "back to normal" I guess you can say.


Well this class I'm doing is a combination of weights, step aerobics, and yoga. Yoga not being my strong point. Yeah I'm fit, but I'm not flexible. They want me to do positions in there I couldn't even do while I'm having sex with my husband let alone on a gym mat in a room full of woman I don't know. WTH?



So getting to the "things not back to normal", the instructor goes into the PLOUGH position.
Ummm, okay I can do this! Lifting legs, lifting but, oh no, STOP! Yeah, you try that and see how awkward that is!

Note to self: Never attempt PLOUGH position until things "are back to normal" or you will probably queef.


Thanks so UrbanDictionary.com I have provided this definition:

Queef:

A queef is the expulsion of air from the vagina. Can occur during or after sex. Some woman do it on command. For some it can happen while doing sit-ups.

Example: She queefed at the gym while doing crunches.

Nice to meet you.

While you probably assuming this is some weight loose adventure blog, or how to get fit and stay in shape blog. IT'S NOT...

I'm just a 25 year old healthy, fit mom of three kids, who HATED anything to do with working out prior to having children. Now I find myself eagerly going because its the only me time I typically get in a day.

Just a little bit more about me, I'm 5'2 and 110 pounds so I typically get "the look" of death by most woman struggling at the gym. Or "why do you even work out?", "You're already too skinny". Blah, because I can, and because I don't want to end up NEEDING to be here. I don't starve myself I eat what I want when I want, I am just blessed with good genes, and fast metabolism thus far. Don't get me wrong I worked my ass off to get where I am now after three kids. I'm not one of those freak of nature woman who gain a belly, have the baby and are magically a stick again, I've got stretch marks in places I didn't know existed. (Where you ask, my calves, YES I said my calves!)

Yeah, the whole healthy thing is great, but I go for my SANITY. So here I was blog about my experience, comments, run ins, people, and just flat out things im thinking while I'm there.